Category Archives: americans
Blah, blah, blah, Mandela, blah, blah, blah, world mourning, blah blah blah. Yes, we’ve all heard about it by now so there’s no need to recap any of the finer details, but hell, what a show we gave the world to send off our ‘old man’. Bob Mugabe and Tony Blair in the same stadium, America and Cuba reconciling 50 years after the Bay of Pigs fiasco, some imaginative sign language from a dude in a snappy suit, and a self-confessed porn addict (or so the doctor says, and we always know to trust the doctor) to sing in Obama (there’s some lovely joke in there somewhere but I’ll have to mull it over). But I think my favourite part of the entire Mandela Memorial was Uncle Cyril stepping up to that mic, interrupting the Indian prime minister and telling the people of South Africa to behave. And as with any small child with a dodgy uncle, most of the crowd fled the scene. The more rebellious however, stayed.
We (yes, I’m laying claim to being the voice of all South Africans) wish they hadn’t. As if it wasn’t mortifying enough being told off in Zulu for being horrible little skebengas in front of the world, we were told off again by Pappy Tutu, who, by the end of it, was so outraged that he went off on a rant in Afrikaans. Oh what lovely irony. A boisterous crowd of mostly black South Africans told off in the language of their white oppressor at the memorial of Nelson Mandela. Seriously?! Really?! Verwoerd couldn’t have written a better script himself.
Well done South Africa, well done.
PS You think next time someone important in South Africa dies (no doctor, Rattray wasn’t important) could we please do without the stadium thing, and rather let the crowds be crowds on the street and the dignitaries be obnoxious in a private room with cameras judging them, rather than them judging us as a nation? Imagine how much more fun and self-righteous we could’ve been about Obama’s selfie if we hadn’t stuffed up so many other things? OMG! I just realised. We didn’t stuff up anything. It was all a cover-up to make the American president look less like an angry teenager who forgot to get out of bed on time… We really are a giving nation.
I recently read this article which outlined how researchers in America (only in America!) have linked alcohol consumption in movies to teenage alcohol abuse. They argued that teenagers who watched movies in which the actors drank were more likely to drink themselves. In fact, it is a more deciding factor than continuous exposure to people around them who drink, like parents, or if they have freely available booze whenever they want. Apparently, the latter two had no impact on their decision to experiment with drinking, or with alcohol abuse. My answer, what an absolute load of baloney!
Apart from questioning the validity of the study, which consisted of a phone survey(!), two serious issues have to be considered. Firstly, where are their parents? And secondly, are teenagers really so dim-witted that they have to wait for a Hollywood celebrity to do it first? What ever happened to teenagers experimenting on their own? If you ask me, this is yet another excuse to shirk personal responsibility.
This study is aimed at 10-14 year olds, so enter my first issue. Mr Researcher, these are not teenagers, they are pre-pubescent trolls that should be under the supervision of their parents. You honestly expect me to believe that it’s all Hollywood’s fault, and not irresponsible parents that have given rise to slurring, wonky, drunken gremlins? Let me elaborate. When I was ten, I was not allowed to go to the movies without an adult, in fact, I wasn’t even allowed to watch TV (other than afternoon cartoons) without an adult. And no, I wasn’t locked in a basement, being deprived of the world. I was outside playing in the dirt, or trying to ramp over dirt with my bike, or, on rainy days, reading a book. So what has changed? It’s not Hollywood! It’s parents and their complete lack of personal responsibility. They would rather blame something out of their control, like a movie, than admit to the fact that they can’t be bothered to monitor what their ‘angel’ is watching. Added to this, it’s also amazing that no-one wants to comment on a society where alcohol is readily available to 10 year olds! How does America justify that one? That’s something you should try to fix, not ban the movies from displaying a normal ADULT activity. And again, parents should be around to contextualise drinking rather than allowing TV to teach their kids about the world.
Based on this, it negates my second point about teenage experimentation because these ARE NOT teenagers. They shouldn’t even be ready to experiment with anything other than fire crackers. So then why do we allow them to dress like mini skanks, and hand over all responsibility to them? They little. Let them have fun and be children. And then when they become real teenagers, all smelly and pimply, then we can have a real discussion on teenagers and drinking.
So I promised that after I went after the fat people I’d go after the academics around the world.. ok so I guess I don’t know that many.. and in fact I kinda like the ones I know so I really don’t have much room to complain. So then what to bitch and moan about? First years?? Been there!!! Uh.. Men.. Oh wait.. Done that too.. Um… Monkeys?? Wait.. Why would I do that? They so cute and cheeky.. Like me 🙂 Oh wait, I digress… Hmmm… Let’s think about this for a while……………
Well I can’t really think about who to bitch about in general.. And after listening to a third year lecture today, I guess I really shouldn’t stereotype so. Sorry obese American people.. You are special too.. Fat.. But special! AAAAGGGHHHHH!!! This is gonna take some time to think about… Let me get back to you in a few days!